You might be getting the impression that I spend my entire life in a pub, but nothing could be further from the truth.
I just so happened to be in one recently and was in need of sustenance after a long day in the proverbial office.
What, I asked myself, were going to be the vegetarian options in this salubrious establishment? Surely here, in the heart of a posh bit of London, we were going to find a feast of fruits, flowers, beans, nuts and vegetables from around the world, to satisfy the appetites of a thousand bright young things hell bent on changing the world. Here, if anywhere, would I find a culinary delight for my new-fangled dietary fastidiousness.
Mushroom dumplings! Wow! Sounds good. In a beetroot sauce, with turnip tops (??). OK let's go for it. The waitress agrees it's delicious but diplomatically suggests a side. Perhaps the cauliflower cheese, yes that would be the best accompaniment. Hmm.
And the beluga lentils! With pomegranate! And other things to make it doubly delicious! Yum - can't wait and now feverishly hungry.
And then it arrived.
The dumplings were delicious, all 6 of them. But they looked like Hula hoops, with a combined mass of maybe 5 grams, lying on a thin bed of lawn trimmings, with a side pot of beetroot water. Clearly designed to be eaten by an anorexic dragonfly.
The lentil thing was equally tasty but in need of an electron microscope to identify it's exact location on the great Kalahari desert of an otherwise empty plate.
Come on guys, help me out here. I'm trying to do the right thing by eating less meat - none in fact - and in the process both purify the temple that is my body and do my bit to stop the imminent destruction of our dear planet's fragile environment.
But you ain't making it easy for me. I weigh 95 kg and work hard all day - I need to eat, not peck.
My 18 year old son went for the chicken breast on a bed of a thick bean and vegetable sauce, and announced towards the end that it was not only delicious but so gargantuan in portion size, he was struggling to finish it.
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016
Monday's food rant
Apparently, 40% of the planet's land mass is currently turned over to food production of one sort of another in order to feed, rather inefficiently, our current population of seven billion.
Hmm. One problem is that the 40% represents most of the land that we can actually use. Much of the rest of it is covered in mountains, desert or ice.
And if our world population is heading for 9.6 billion by 2050, we're going to have massively to increase the amount of food we produce. With little extra available land unless we chop down even more rain forest, in which case some of our environmental problems are going to get as whole lot worse.
26% of our land is already used for animal grazing and further huge swathes of land are used to raise the crops that feed animals for human food. I don't really like the name, but I think you should check out some of the statistics on http://www.cowspiracy.com/facts/
The inescapable fact is that meat production is horribly inefficient (quite apart from any moral, ethical or nutritional arguments against it) and if we don't do something about the rate at which we're trying to eat it, we might be heading for a rather nasty global food shortage.
A cursory glance at the news on any day of any week will show time and time again that we, as a species, are really not very nice when the going gets tough. It's how we got to the top of the pile over the last 6 million years. Start to take some of the food away from our children's mouths and things could get very ugly very quickly.
Waste less food. Between field and plate we manage to waste almost 50% of the food we actually produce.
Eat less meat. Each day, a person who eats a vegan diet saves 1,100 gallons of water, 20 kg of grain, 30 sq ft of forested land 10kg of CO2 equivalent and one animal's life.
Hmm. One problem is that the 40% represents most of the land that we can actually use. Much of the rest of it is covered in mountains, desert or ice.
And if our world population is heading for 9.6 billion by 2050, we're going to have massively to increase the amount of food we produce. With little extra available land unless we chop down even more rain forest, in which case some of our environmental problems are going to get as whole lot worse.
26% of our land is already used for animal grazing and further huge swathes of land are used to raise the crops that feed animals for human food. I don't really like the name, but I think you should check out some of the statistics on http://www.cowspiracy.com/facts/
The inescapable fact is that meat production is horribly inefficient (quite apart from any moral, ethical or nutritional arguments against it) and if we don't do something about the rate at which we're trying to eat it, we might be heading for a rather nasty global food shortage.
A cursory glance at the news on any day of any week will show time and time again that we, as a species, are really not very nice when the going gets tough. It's how we got to the top of the pile over the last 6 million years. Start to take some of the food away from our children's mouths and things could get very ugly very quickly.
Waste less food. Between field and plate we manage to waste almost 50% of the food we actually produce.
Eat less meat. Each day, a person who eats a vegan diet saves 1,100 gallons of water, 20 kg of grain, 30 sq ft of forested land 10kg of CO2 equivalent and one animal's life.
Friday, January 22, 2016
The Destruction of Hyde Park
Is it just me or does anyone else share my sense of despair when a substantial chunk of our beloved Hyde Park is yet again trashed and rendered unavailable?
We have to go through process this at least twice a year, during which time this jewel of our city resembles some giant prison camp, inaccessible to all those who might like to walk, run, exercise their dogs, do sport, or frankly, just breathe a little fresh air surrounded by trees, grass, open space and nature.
The latest horror is of course the ghastly Winter Wonderland. At a stroke when it started in November, it took out of action the biggest area of open green space in the centre of London. December passed and now towards the end of January as the barriers finally come down, we are greeted by the sight of countless acres of muddy wet wasteland, as the guys in hi-viz jackets prepare to fence it off yet again whilst is is reseeded, re-turfed, primped and preened.
If previous years are anything to go by, the whole process should just about be complete by the time they're ready to fence it off again for the summer concerts.
I realise I'm sounding like the archetypal grumpy old man, and don't get me wrong, I do love it when the sound of live music wafts across the park, and the Christmas lights do look lovely, BUT.... do we really have to go through this every time?
Who makes all the money out of all this? Maybe it's none of our business, what with it all being Royal Parks business, and of course they need to pull in some more cash, what with the Royalty being short of cash, but there's no doubt in my mind that some private individuals are likely to be making fat profits out of each event.
Lucky them.
Just a shame for those who want to use Hyde Park as a park.
We have to go through process this at least twice a year, during which time this jewel of our city resembles some giant prison camp, inaccessible to all those who might like to walk, run, exercise their dogs, do sport, or frankly, just breathe a little fresh air surrounded by trees, grass, open space and nature.
The latest horror is of course the ghastly Winter Wonderland. At a stroke when it started in November, it took out of action the biggest area of open green space in the centre of London. December passed and now towards the end of January as the barriers finally come down, we are greeted by the sight of countless acres of muddy wet wasteland, as the guys in hi-viz jackets prepare to fence it off yet again whilst is is reseeded, re-turfed, primped and preened.
If previous years are anything to go by, the whole process should just about be complete by the time they're ready to fence it off again for the summer concerts.
I realise I'm sounding like the archetypal grumpy old man, and don't get me wrong, I do love it when the sound of live music wafts across the park, and the Christmas lights do look lovely, BUT.... do we really have to go through this every time?
Who makes all the money out of all this? Maybe it's none of our business, what with it all being Royal Parks business, and of course they need to pull in some more cash, what with the Royalty being short of cash, but there's no doubt in my mind that some private individuals are likely to be making fat profits out of each event.
Lucky them.
Just a shame for those who want to use Hyde Park as a park.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Microchip identification of dogs becomes law on 6th April 2016
From 6th April 2016, every dog in the UK will have to have microchip identification in place.
It's always been a legal requirement for any dog to be identifiable, and the law still requires dogs to wear a collar and identity tag when out in a public place, but the legal requirement for microchipping is new.
On the face of it, that seems like a good enough idea. A microchip is the only means to definitively identify an animal, and is reckoned to be sufficiently secure to be the basis of identification for the pet passport scheme. So it's fine. A good idea all in all.
It means that if ever you and your dog are separated (whether lost or stolen), there's no argument about who's dog belongs to who. And then if there's any question of legal liability in case of a fight, bite or accident, the same applies. We do have to be responsible for our dogs and their behaviour.
Our only concern is that all dogs over the age of 8 weeks have to have a microchip and some of the 8 week old puppies that come into this clinic - and no doubt many others across the land - are still pretty tiny, the poor little mites.
There's us, going out of our way to try to make sure the whole vet experience is a nice one, so they don't become fearful, and then we have to spike them with a great big chip needle. Ouch. But that's the law so if your dog is not yet microchipped, get on with it before it becomes illegal not to.
Call us on 020 7723 0453 if you need any more information or need to have your dog microchipped - we have a special discount price available until the end of February. It can be done during a routine consultation.
Oh, and by the way, don't you love government legislation terminology? Here it is:
It's always been a legal requirement for any dog to be identifiable, and the law still requires dogs to wear a collar and identity tag when out in a public place, but the legal requirement for microchipping is new.
On the face of it, that seems like a good enough idea. A microchip is the only means to definitively identify an animal, and is reckoned to be sufficiently secure to be the basis of identification for the pet passport scheme. So it's fine. A good idea all in all.
It means that if ever you and your dog are separated (whether lost or stolen), there's no argument about who's dog belongs to who. And then if there's any question of legal liability in case of a fight, bite or accident, the same applies. We do have to be responsible for our dogs and their behaviour.
Our only concern is that all dogs over the age of 8 weeks have to have a microchip and some of the 8 week old puppies that come into this clinic - and no doubt many others across the land - are still pretty tiny, the poor little mites.
There's us, going out of our way to try to make sure the whole vet experience is a nice one, so they don't become fearful, and then we have to spike them with a great big chip needle. Ouch. But that's the law so if your dog is not yet microchipped, get on with it before it becomes illegal not to.
Call us on 020 7723 0453 if you need any more information or need to have your dog microchipped - we have a special discount price available until the end of February. It can be done during a routine consultation.
Oh, and by the way, don't you love government legislation terminology? Here it is:
Obligation to microchip dogs
3.—(1) Subject to a certificate issued under paragraph (2) or (3), from 6th April 2016 every keeper of a dog which has not been implanted with a microchip by that date—
(a)which is older than 8 weeks; and
(b)which is not a certified working dog for the purposes of section 6(3) of the Animal Welfare Act 2006(1),
must ensure that it is microchipped.
(2) Paragraph (1) does not apply for as long as a veterinary surgeon certifies, on a form approved by the Secretary of State, that a dog should not be microchipped for reasons of the animal’s health.
(3) Subject to paragraph (4), from 6th April 2016 a keeper who imports a dog must ensure that the dog is microchipped in accordance with paragraph (5) within 30 days of importing the dog unless a veterinary surgeon certifies, on a form approved by the Secretary of State, that the dog should not be microchipped for reasons of the animal’s health.
(4) A certificate issued under paragraph (2) or (3) must state the period for which the dog will be unfit to be microchipped.
(5) A dog is microchipped where—
(a)a microchip which complies with regulation 4 has been implanted in the dog; and
Monday, January 18, 2016
I'm sorry, but isn't the dairy industry too big?
I very much appreciate the widely held concern about the fall in wholesale milk prices and the poor returns that dairy farmers are able to achieve in the current market. Add to this the on-going difficulties with TB control and the farce of the badger culls, and we have a beleaguered industry in quite a state of crisis.
Milk is a great source of energy, protein and calcium if you don't have anything else to eat. And a cow is a great way of converting vegetation that is relatively indigestible for humans into a steady supply of such nourishment. It's also mobile and fresh, which is especially useful when you don't have a fridge.
But the above have limited value in our society and I can't help noticing that our shops are now full of skimmed, low fat or even non-dairy dairy products, partly because many of the base constituents of milk are actually quite bad for us as adults, especially given the relative abundance of other food types.
Is the elephant in the room not the issue that we all consume far too many dairy products anyway and that the industry is therefore bigger than either our economy, health or environment can sustain?
Last time I checked, I was weaned when I was about six months old.
Milk is a great source of energy, protein and calcium if you don't have anything else to eat. And a cow is a great way of converting vegetation that is relatively indigestible for humans into a steady supply of such nourishment. It's also mobile and fresh, which is especially useful when you don't have a fridge.
But the above have limited value in our society and I can't help noticing that our shops are now full of skimmed, low fat or even non-dairy dairy products, partly because many of the base constituents of milk are actually quite bad for us as adults, especially given the relative abundance of other food types.
Is the elephant in the room not the issue that we all consume far too many dairy products anyway and that the industry is therefore bigger than either our economy, health or environment can sustain?
Last time I checked, I was weaned when I was about six months old.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Life without meat #2
2 days into vegetarianism, I went down with what felt like a terrible hangover. Woke up with a ringing headache - very unusual for me unless I've been drinking gallons of red wine the night before, which I hadn't. It's dry January, remember? - a state which progressed into feelings of nausea and exhaustion.
I baled out of work half way through the day, also very unusual for me.
Was this detox?
Yuk.
Fast forward through 5 days of vegetables, beans, nuts and water. I think the medical term is flatus, but my guts are beginning to get used to it.
On a mercy mission with daughter (a prime architect of the current nutritional regime) to visit elderly mother in Cheltenham, whizzing happily down the A417 in the Cotswolds. We were just talking about lunch.
'Mmm, yes I'm hungry. Pub lunch? '
'Sounds great.'
Then we remembered that we were vegetarians, and that this might make a Sunday pub roast slightly challenging. And what's more, mission creep seemed to crept up on me yet again, and where this had initially morphed surreptitiously from dry January to de-tox vegetarianism, apparently now I was heading for the full planet-saving vegan.
'You know you want to be a vegan, Dad. Anyway, you have to, otherwise we're all going to die. Do you want me to die?'
'Well, no, of course not'
'Well then we all have to become vegans and that includes you'
'Oh'
'There's a pub'
As we skidded off the main road and lurched into the gravel of the car park in front of the picture-perfect roadside hostelry, our hopes were not high. We imagined the sudden silence in the bar as we feebly asked
'Could we have the roast pork without the pork, please?' silently wondering whether the gravy was made from boiled animals or not, as the locals prepared the gibbet in the pub garden.
'That's what we did with the last people who looked they might vote for Jeremy Corbyn' they'd say as they poked their pitchforks at the tattered remnants of the last vegetarian in the county.
But not a bit of it. No less than 7 vegetarian or vegan main course options on the menu. Oh yes, here in rural Gloucestershire (http://www.thegoldenheart.co.uk), the world has already changed. We are clearly bang on track for a rosy future for generations to come, with no starving children, no desertification, no war and no economic crises ever again.
The nut roast was a triumph: peace, love and eternal cosmic wisdom. Right here, now!
I baled out of work half way through the day, also very unusual for me.
Was this detox?
Yuk.
Fast forward through 5 days of vegetables, beans, nuts and water. I think the medical term is flatus, but my guts are beginning to get used to it.
On a mercy mission with daughter (a prime architect of the current nutritional regime) to visit elderly mother in Cheltenham, whizzing happily down the A417 in the Cotswolds. We were just talking about lunch.
'Mmm, yes I'm hungry. Pub lunch? '
'Sounds great.'
Then we remembered that we were vegetarians, and that this might make a Sunday pub roast slightly challenging. And what's more, mission creep seemed to crept up on me yet again, and where this had initially morphed surreptitiously from dry January to de-tox vegetarianism, apparently now I was heading for the full planet-saving vegan.
'You know you want to be a vegan, Dad. Anyway, you have to, otherwise we're all going to die. Do you want me to die?'
'Well, no, of course not'
'Well then we all have to become vegans and that includes you'
'Oh'
'There's a pub'
As we skidded off the main road and lurched into the gravel of the car park in front of the picture-perfect roadside hostelry, our hopes were not high. We imagined the sudden silence in the bar as we feebly asked
'Could we have the roast pork without the pork, please?' silently wondering whether the gravy was made from boiled animals or not, as the locals prepared the gibbet in the pub garden.
'That's what we did with the last people who looked they might vote for Jeremy Corbyn' they'd say as they poked their pitchforks at the tattered remnants of the last vegetarian in the county.
But not a bit of it. No less than 7 vegetarian or vegan main course options on the menu. Oh yes, here in rural Gloucestershire (http://www.thegoldenheart.co.uk), the world has already changed. We are clearly bang on track for a rosy future for generations to come, with no starving children, no desertification, no war and no economic crises ever again.
The nut roast was a triumph: peace, love and eternal cosmic wisdom. Right here, now!
Monday, January 11, 2016
Saving the world in 2016
One day at the beginning of January, we sat down as a family to dinner and started to discuss our various exploits and antics over the Christmas and New Year period. Teenage parties, boozy dinners, late nights, long lunches, sore heads, unexplained stains on carpets, the usual litany of destruction and chaos.
'We should do dry January' someone said, and 20 minutes later, I realised that the discussion had somehow suffered mission creep, and that I had just agreed to give vegetarianism another try. I can't quite remember just how we got to that point, but as the last of the Coq au vin slipped down, I began to realise that we were heading for some changes around here.
This would be my third shot at it.
Episode 1 was when I was a student way back in the late '70s. A group of us lived in a cottage outside the city, and decided we would embrace certain aspects of the hippy ideal. This would include becoming vegetarians and being committed to what was then called 'alternative technology'. We were early eco-warriors and talked a lot about trying to change the world and save the planet. Rather than being rebels without a cause, we had a cause all right, but there wasn't much real rebellion going on - we had degrees to study for, after all.
The vegetarianism all started as a result of a particular dinner I cooked one night. Being a veterinary student, I had a working familiarity with the anatomical details of quite a number animals and felt that it was no big deal to stretch out both our food budget and sense of culinary adventure during my occasional visits to the butcher. But when I served up a dish of pig's trotters, my companions felt that I had crossed a certain line from which there was no going back. Not only was my dinner uneaten (it was, to be fair, almost inedible), but the protests were loud and vocal. And two of the gang were turned into life-long vegetarians on the spot.
Episode 2 was many years later, and also came on me as a bit of a surprise. Far less an emotional or ethical decision, I was simply persuaded that meat and dairy products were actually not very good for me and that a diet of vegetables, grains, nuts and fruits, devoid of alcohol, coffee and other stimulants would be the route to unimaginable energy, fitness, stamina, excitement, joy and fulfilment.
This was not wrong, but I lost about 10kg in weight and being already skinny at the start, I tired of continually being asked by concerned friends, family, clients and chance acquaintances
'Are you alright? I mean, really?'
So I gave up and went back onto the dark side.
Episode 3 started seven days ago.
I'll keep you posted.
'We should do dry January' someone said, and 20 minutes later, I realised that the discussion had somehow suffered mission creep, and that I had just agreed to give vegetarianism another try. I can't quite remember just how we got to that point, but as the last of the Coq au vin slipped down, I began to realise that we were heading for some changes around here.
This would be my third shot at it.
Episode 1 was when I was a student way back in the late '70s. A group of us lived in a cottage outside the city, and decided we would embrace certain aspects of the hippy ideal. This would include becoming vegetarians and being committed to what was then called 'alternative technology'. We were early eco-warriors and talked a lot about trying to change the world and save the planet. Rather than being rebels without a cause, we had a cause all right, but there wasn't much real rebellion going on - we had degrees to study for, after all.
The vegetarianism all started as a result of a particular dinner I cooked one night. Being a veterinary student, I had a working familiarity with the anatomical details of quite a number animals and felt that it was no big deal to stretch out both our food budget and sense of culinary adventure during my occasional visits to the butcher. But when I served up a dish of pig's trotters, my companions felt that I had crossed a certain line from which there was no going back. Not only was my dinner uneaten (it was, to be fair, almost inedible), but the protests were loud and vocal. And two of the gang were turned into life-long vegetarians on the spot.
Episode 2 was many years later, and also came on me as a bit of a surprise. Far less an emotional or ethical decision, I was simply persuaded that meat and dairy products were actually not very good for me and that a diet of vegetables, grains, nuts and fruits, devoid of alcohol, coffee and other stimulants would be the route to unimaginable energy, fitness, stamina, excitement, joy and fulfilment.
This was not wrong, but I lost about 10kg in weight and being already skinny at the start, I tired of continually being asked by concerned friends, family, clients and chance acquaintances
'Are you alright? I mean, really?'
So I gave up and went back onto the dark side.
Episode 3 started seven days ago.
I'll keep you posted.
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